Linen Kisses

Drowning in linen sheets
I see you and me
aboard a ferry
breeze whispering to our ears
cool summer sun casting its light

water rippled on my cheeks
your touch made them fade
drops of your stare
golden smiles you held

then we walked on stone-path streets
smell of french bread in the air
we gaze at pigeons flying by
coffee shops and tea
you held my hand lightly softly

we watched an old man paint
how a boy waded by a puddle
on the other side of the street.
you whispered, i giggled
and we gave him a tip.



we walked up the steps to a hill
long and dizzying it seemed
but at the end a view so magnificent
we were on top
we were in control.

roofs and trees and tiny sidestreets
little cars, people like dots
and beyond was the horizon
painted by the sun
purple violet grey devine
then a band playing near our side
“valoir la passionné de...
à côté de vous...”

you leaned forward
I see a pair of gray marble mirrors
reflecting my shadow
within your soul.
and its getting dark
and people were leaving
but we-
both hypnotized by each other's gaze...



as the linen tangled
I woke up
my lips were cold
my eyes were burning
my cheeks trembling from my smile
my heart skip skipping
honey, à tout à l’heure!
I'll see you in a little while.

Snowflake Eyes

IF my eyes could only capture
each second of what I see
if only that picture can record
the scent surrounding me -
  pineapples, peaches and grapes
wine drops that moisten my lips;
Grasping in breathing spell-

as I open the window
  and gaze outside
  cold breeze went within
as the clouds weep in agony
  every drop shouts your name
  the hot breeze cling to my veins
as my windowpane dream
  of snowstorms
  and hale.

I closed my thoughts
I fell unknowingly
the sensation of dropping
a split second gone to infinity

I float with arms wide open
and the air embracing me
fall from skyscrapers
 I drop
  I fall
   I smither
    I burst -
 into innumerable molecules
as a snowflake i become
an open hand catches me
and I melt with the heat of his palm
 becoming one with the skin
  absorbing,
   obliterating.

If only i could be
  a snowflake -
in a standstill
in a still frame.

Comments Link Lost

I don't know what happened. I can't even remember tampering with the html of the comments part. Now im viewing my page for the nth time!

After a lovely evening, I went to check out my blog as the sun was rising. I got a mail from my Moogie Blog comments, .A. can't seem to post a comment at my poem Drunk Sailor.

I think it started with my failure to get the fresco referral links right. So i tried a new one from ej stone, but my brain cells acted dumb today ha! Even asked them for help. No answers yet. Well, if all else fails, id get that Halo Scan comments linked.

Hmm.. maybe its the comming storm. After getting the html from blogger help, which messed it up even more ... lol... i was getting paranoid on who or what tampered with the codes. But maybe its just me...Thinking maybe i blocked out one time which i cannot recall. A sudden lapse probably. With all these heat, i do need some break, away from this temp. and the temp of my pc too! lol.. suddenly jumping to 50+ degrees Celsius! oh noo...

And another prob living in a tropical country especially in May, you know it will rain after a few hours when the temp rises too hot. And the heat makes you forget things. I even forgot the template of Moogie Blog and twisted are the same. tssk ...and i searched endlessly for the codes somewhere else. I even thought of waking up sweet Capt. Moogie just to ask for help. But hey, this can wait.

Now its starting to rain. see! I knew it! Crash and howl" ..i can hear the wind now blowing the leaves off the trees.

oh, it even made me forgot why i didnt go to work today. lol.
Well, i better post this later. I keep on getting that "page cannot be displayed" message from ie. And its a bad idea to be online while there are lightnings outside.

----
note: for comments, pls proceed to outside the box and post them there first if you can't post here, while i figure this out.

The Drunk Sailor

Sky boiling sapphire from the sea
Losing contact with reality
Swaying to the sidewaves shifting
Like an uneasy sleep he went turning.

Although awake the sailor snors
Drowning the clouds of subversive liquor;
Drought in his throat he will succumb
Famine and death in his shipwreched dischord.

Submerged in bottles of spilling fire
The dilema of wanting overpower;
Duality of form is all he sees
No one should dare stop him, impelled the beast.

Standing up he felt his numb limb
A duel he cast upon the wind
Boistering rough violent verbs
As he suffocates with his own words.

"I am the master of all seas!"
Unknowing the wrath of the silent breeze,
He went on shouting, cursing her -
To then die that day on mid-December.

Then she awoke from her long time sleep
To cast the demon off her feet;
She thumped on the waves to carry his ship
His sails were torn by her strong whip.

She cried to his sins, he should pay -
He choked as his perception fades away;
Then he shred - no time to resist
As his body sail away piece by piece.

-----
note: i celebrate through traditional writing the May 17th ritual...
but now, not with the drunk sailor, but with Captain Easychord*.*

Phantom Stalker

i see you in every corner of my eyes
i look around and there you are among the crowd
walking by the distant
among faceless souls
and there you are again reading by the bookstore

i sip a cup of coffee i see
a reflection of your face through the waves
i look up and you're gone

i look outside the window
by the office, by my home
i see you walking, running and riding a bike
but i stare and its not

your shadow creeping my every move
i feel a slight swish
i thought it was you beside me
oh, how i wish!

and i travel among city streets
looking, searching
pair of grey eyes i gleam
and i saw them often as i dream

i cant seem to find you around
so i looked up
and i saw you once more
i thouht, you, i finally found.

a clear light hiding behind
puffs of distant smiles
a thousand kisses you shower me
under millions of droplets of the sea.



----
note: half-asleep i write as i listen to Spacemen 3 - Just to See You Smile
see more of what i see thru velvet eyes

Teardrop

under a starless night
waves of delight
hang by the corners of my skin
and how long will it be not
me through the light beam?

must i not want anything
but you surrounding me
instead of waves of salty promises,
bitter dreams?

we lay in the midst
of our unconsciousness
as i write the intuitions
of a lover whom -
i may not have known
the flare of life and all its meaning
and i repeat and go repeating

as the hearts of knowledge interpolate
be not wanting
from the shade

purple dim lights
an empty glass of fire
gun shots
the noise and chaos within me
explodes in the night

and i hear the echo outside
and i feel the coldness within
and i sense the longing
of a tranquil becoming

and the mysterious ways
movements of love
will bring forth its finality
and darkness lest give no meaning

crowning our Elysium
with my own dagger, an obelisk
yellow flowers i shred
i tremble within.
when will it ever be?

and the sky's teardrop seals it all.

We Are But Fragments

We are but fragments
of an illusion we have yet to see
little dots in a brink of uncertainty.

i stare at the waves of your sky
its tears falling
onto the glass pane of your eyes

and the prairies are leaving
with a gray dust
far across on roads getting smaller

your eyes travel and i stay behind
staring -
unspeaking...

how vast the emptiness in your arms
how wide the horizon of your thoughts
diverse
and serene.

the twinkling lights across the mirage
on the other side
we both wait.
til the waters subside.

now you blend perfectly
as the sun
drags himself to its dreaming sheet.
dissipated to the sands of its broken fragment
of its broken beam.

Anxiety and mobile phones

ok i'm calm now.
looks like its another swing of the velvet anxiety syndrome. like a pendulum moving slow, I'm on the other side now. the less restless one. and i could stay here for a while, i dont know how long tho. an hour ago i almost reached the brink of anxiety.

maybe its the weather. almost 36 degrees C here, and - in the evening! but now its much cooler. thank goid for aircons! why the fuss? i just hate the thought of us being the country with rampant call-centers, (its a disease!) and they cater other countries more than its own.

i've been sending sms for days now to somewhere in europe BUT the reciever do not recieve any! AND i am being charged of all the unsent messages! i was also suppose to recieve a number of sms but haven't got any. five days ago i called the network provider and they claimed their system is JUST having some "technical" maintenance, and better check within a couple of days, "surely it will be up again". do i get a guarantee? no. do i get some kind of refund or rebate? no. because i was "only on a pre-paid" service. talk about being in the third world!!! 'technical' is another word for
'i dont need to explain coz you won't understand, it will only bring you headches'. ohh... well,
break my brains then!

i tried calling their hotline again today. NO ANSWER! and i dialed for an hour with only 5-10 minutes interval for every 10 continuous dials! and i realized that their wireless centers are unwired(!) and useless after the malls closes (10:00pm). no 24-hours?! tssk! yes it is my fault, its past 11.00 pm and i searched their site just now. now i cant call for inquiries. pff.. no 'contact us' list then? where's the 24-hour hotline list?! they can't have just 2 numbers?! i'm defenitely gonna change my network provider! too bad the one who offers 'unlimited sms' is only valid when sent within the country. sim swap!

blood boiling.. then i walked all around the house as if looking for something which i do not know and can't find, with occasional "eeh!" and "uhrg!" pulling strands of hair, flashing off fake calm smiles to people in the house, then walked some more. i was purspiring. went to the balcony. i need fresh air! then i sat. now i hear things! rumblings, whisperings, i hear voices of people i do not know and know, with a rebutal or two of my own. placed one finger to each of my ears. closed my eyes, felt the air. tried to smell. i can't think of anything straight. the silence brought my thoughts in a chaos, like a dozen people whispering behind me. and i cant understand the words. all mumbles and my legs were weak and trembled. i need a smoke! but i don't want the odor to linger in the house when people are around. ran to my room and sat again in front of the pc.

headphones! i listened to Devics, then Eluvium. followed on to my links of photos (please see sidebar for eye candies) and now my mind was caught up in stillness, especially when i learned that sky worship was like how i treat the one below it, the sea. *sighs* hhmm... now i'll remind myself that when i get one of those panic attacks.

why... just call him instead! its only $.40/ minute.

Sea, Swallow Me

She drifted along a redwood boat. Without oars. Without sails.
Lying chest-down, her hands wade with the water.
Her feet splashed gently to its sound.
The sun lost within the clouds and mist. Hiding behind the waters of the sky.
And the sea now eyeing her. Wanted to engulf her. Although it was aback.
It was thinking twice.
She looked so serene and peacful, to be lost in its deep waters.
And yet looked so lonely and alone, not to be either.

But all her strength was gone, like water spilled on the ground.
All her bones are out of joint, her heart melted like wax.
Her throat was dry as dust, her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth.
She needed the sea to keep her nurtured and warm.

Little splash of waves bathed the girl in the grey luster of its gaze.
Voices drifted on the water like waste paper.
Words, sighs, and whispers whose owners were nowhere to be seen.
She looked down on the water.
A field spread with thousands of broken panes of glass.
She saw her jagged reflection.
Maybe those were her thoughts spilling out of her, whispering in her ears...
Maybe it was the sea telling her something.

Years of hauling water, with no chance of beauty or color of light,
stretched before her like an endless sea, where, a long way across,
a landscape of hills and trees and pines... is visible but can never be reached.
Fata Morgana! A mirage...
she wondered for the first time after passing long summer days in the sea
I no longer want to be here!

And she offered herself. Closed her eyes.
Gasped for all the air her lungs could hold, and held onto it...
She dove in... forgetting how long she was attached to the boat.
Letting go, she left with nothing, as she came with nothing.
Head first, a splatter on her face like a million decks of cards.

The sea now, with all anticipation, welcomed her whole.
I was waiting for you.
And she was wraped within its tears of blue,
with no breath, no yesterday, no tomorrow.
The air was reduced to a permanent twilight
and she found herself in the arms of sleep
within the water of Life.

-----
note: based on a dream and inspired by a song of Elizabeth Fraser