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Friday, October 10, 2008

illo friday: strings

and im floating with strings of thoughts and dreams..



back in 2004.. when i first started blogging.. here's one of the thoughts i randomly scribbled down.. half awake half intoxicated.. consumed in escaping and dreaming..

"I have a bad hobby. And its driving me nuts. When I do it, I think about impossible possibilities miles away beyond my reach. This is a sin and im not ashamed to look practically pathetic and plainly stupid. Im tired of writing sexual fantasies and sending them to the person most important to me. not because I wouldn’t like any in reality, but because the more I think about it, the more I desperately want to search for him. My bad hobby brought me to the end of my rope to leap into the shallowness of my mind. And without strings attached I jumped in and dove in deeper. Without thinking. Just feeling. Forcing myself further, with no assurance of my return. This bad hobby, as may be unsounded to others, brings me to satisfaction, intellectually, spiritually; and giving consent for my material body to be degraded. Stimulate me to the heights of the farthest corner of space and time. I know of no other refuge. I know of no other salvation. It’s a one sided mirror and a tango with one foot. Less than one. Less than half. I ask of no forgiveness for being too addicted. This is my obsession and my demise. Pages of thoughts left unsaid. I blend in into the white background. Not knowing, not being known. My entity once evolved me, now I create the silence of a thousand leaves. And I shape my mind to knowing, condition my body into feeling. My bad hobby I shall never take away.
Yes, I am a sinner. I am crazy…and you are my bad hobby."


but i know now of one reality.. and it's not fatale. and that is life.. that is YOU!

----
notes: ~ illo above is one of my light paintings. read my theory about lights and how to paint using light.
~ 2004 post here
~ what im currently listening to: "underneath the stars" - the cure

*.*

25 Park your thoughts here:

Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

woah! im the second entry for this week! haha! i can't believe it! well i usu. get my mail from penelope or brianna at around 9pm ph time but it came at 6 something just when i woke up and thought of going back to my old poetry..

8)

10/10/08 8:17 PM  
Blogger Connie whispered...

These are beautiful and must be what my 'super strings' look like. From no. 9.

10/10/08 8:45 PM  
Blogger Michael whispered...

a very cool post. dreamlike. nice work.

10/10/08 8:45 PM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

thanks connie and michael! and i'll head over your no.9 connie! 8D

10/10/08 9:41 PM  
Blogger Teri C whispered...

What a beautiful design. Makes me feel all relaxed and calm. I like that thought.

11/10/08 12:26 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

oh hi teri! its been a while.. 8) thanks for visiting again.. and glad you like it!

11/10/08 1:52 AM  
Blogger yoon see whispered...

Hi atomic,
I do agree with all the comments here.
Peacefulness, calmness, dreamland feeling could be traced here.
Kudos, another great entry.
You are 2nd for this enry, awesome....i better catch up...but I have full day teaching today. Tomorrow, I need to see two prospective clients, Monday I cancel classes to go for an Art Exhibition & art demo.
Yesterday, I was very tired, I slept at 10.45pm, 15 minutes after I reached home.
Have you watched "the secret"
I think this strings image very suitable narraating the "secret" in our soul.
Thanks, atomic I really love this blue strings piece.
I am more fresher now.:)

11/10/08 10:24 AM  
Blogger Ces whispered...

I love the image but did I totally get your post wrong because I am getting hot!

11/10/08 10:43 AM  
Blogger Jesse Mendez whispered...

I have lived with a lot of shame most of my life, and can say that it is falling off. This little aspect can keep me down when I should be looking up.

No sense in blaming my consciousness with a slip of the tongue, on the other hand; it is I who can and will be who I am Me.

Nice darling,

Jesse

11/10/08 3:22 PM  
Blogger Zórdís whispered...

Very blue watering piece ... calming and nice!

11/10/08 9:41 PM  
Blogger Dennis Villegas whispered...

I agree, your post is dreamlike and surreal. The painting is exquisite, I could close my eyes and its image will stay in my mind for a long time.

12/10/08 1:30 AM  
Blogger Bella Sinclair whispered...

Very cool light painting. I reminds me of the colors of deep space. I could get lost here.

Bad hobbies, guilty pleasures. Why do all the naughty things feel so nice!?

12/10/08 3:14 PM  
Blogger soulbrush whispered...

wow this is super, i like the colours too. hugs.

13/10/08 4:29 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

wow i was away for 2 days and a wonderful thread of comments awaits.. 8) before i reply to your comments one at a time.. i wanna say thank you so much for all of you who dropped by and shared a thought or two.. i've had a couple of down turns this past 2 days and its always nice to know i have someone to turn to in time of need.. now waking up and seeing all you here is a big plus too!

i guess it goes to say.. a ghost from the past may haunt you but the sun's bright future would always overshadow it and eventually burn it.

13/10/08 4:34 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

yoon see.. wow i see that things are doing great for you too.. now the vid you showed was so timely.. indeed i better not interfere with the goodness flowing around me by thinking of negative thoughts.. always keep smiling and facing the day right will have its domino effect.. 8) thanks again yoon!

ces.. ha! this is my fave reaction so far! hehe.. nope you didnt coz its kinda that way indeed *winks

jesse.. well your last line was a bit confusing but i kinda get your point.. at one time i thought i wouldnt change too but look i am now.. when i wrote these words the first time i was totally a disaster .. people change as desires and feelings do.. we just need to look on th brighter side of things and it will flow.. 8)

zordis and soulbrush.. blue is indeed my face color and the unintentional outcome of this surprised me even more as when i took it, the sun is just about to set..

sir dennis.. first.. happy birthday sir! hehe.. well welcome to my dreamland.. 8)

bella.. hmm outer space.. inner space.. why do naughty things feel so nice? well if it makes you float.. then its not really bad.. isnt it?

8D

13/10/08 4:48 AM  
Blogger isay whispered...

I can see your beautiful image in this one. Nice post Velvet.

14/10/08 8:10 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

hee! its bit a reflection indeed.. if you click on the image you see on my flickr where i took the shot 8)

thanks for passin by isay!

14/10/08 9:22 AM  
Blogger Rrramone whispered...

Wow, that is just plain groovy!

15/10/08 10:26 PM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

ha! lol.. i thought you commented on my other string illo.. and its bit weird if you said that was groovy.. hehe

but still thanks! 8)

15/10/08 11:21 PM  
Blogger Brine Blank whispered...

Very etheral...interesting text...very personal...

16/10/08 3:15 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

mmm thanks brine! well i really feel that camera painting brings out a sense of celestial mystery.. 8)

16/10/08 10:26 PM  
Blogger orangefrute88 whispered...

yow.za. exceptional image, writing combo. velvet! awesome, truly x

17/10/08 4:44 AM  
Blogger md whispered...

like the motion

17/10/08 7:19 AM  
Blogger atomicvelvetsigh whispered...

thank you so much orangefrute and md!
8D

17/10/08 2:29 PM  
Blogger Unknown whispered...

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