Aftermath

insert that line with short blitz noticed
come with me as we hammock the carcasses
in my head as my eyes fall

in a bloodbath of time spinning
dragging one foot over the other
summon thy strength to renew

the brink of my thumping vein
in a spit second, a heartskip swiveled
space entwined and cottonweb wine

whats come to the judgement of my own decline
can i not venture alone to overrule the Fates
as your eyes behold their wasting away?

chains in chorus thru the unempty fields
as we mold the desire of unerring - it speaks
of truth and laid down promises.

but in all the trenches we've collected
hamper to the mercy of thy fading breath
as i breathe in thoroughly another life within

and send thine swiftly to the omen of the sea
as no man can percieve the immortal amour
of passion thorn apart by injustice and unconformity

roused by the time as much to free the dawn
dropt from the zenith and capture its puissance
to overpower the forger of thunderbolts.

crippled and landed, as i took thy hand
away from the clutches of its destructive fire
unbesieged by its armor and lamed axe

bringing thy forth from across all the seas
empowering thy mystic golden apple - to quench
the fire with your unending elegant hymns.



-----

note: to paint a clearer picture, this is my version on how
the Great Ares' Love freed Aphrodite from Hephaestus. Intriguing?

But then again, maybe this not only talks about them. But only a reflection. oh well, maybe its just an aftermath of talking about Homer with someone before divin between the sheets...

Illo Friday: Dreams

Floating in Space




floating in space
her candlelight fumed to ashes
contrasting light
chaos roars her to her flight

and she dreamt in full circles
without ripples she dove in deeper
the shadow of her wings she penetrate
like flashbacks thundering down

floating in space
she wants to forget
dreaming what her heartaches convey
chasing off her fears away

flashes of lightning lit up the world
whispers echoing in her head
the language of the newly dead
their disembodied utterings, their lament

floating in space
like an ecstatic raven
vanish thru an inclined driving force
she remained standing, unshaken

gone -
to devoid her variegate space
and she dwelled floating
but in a rostrum,
  in a platform,
     in a stage.

----
note: this is my entry for this week's

being single sucks? - a tribute to Aug 25th

bloghopping, i found this post about someone's list on Top Ten reasons why being single sucks



And here's what i commented (and more):

Being sinlge sucks sometimes, but havin a partner you dont agree with, (with almost everything) sucks even more.

The same as his (the link post above) sentiments, i think id be (physically) single in a long time too.. and it might not be (psychologically) healthy for some, but indeed i too have found "better people" online. with the blogs i come across with, people i meet. its so strange why these people do not exist in the real 'walking' life. i mean, most thoughts poured online are hidden in pseudonyms. in the 'walking' life.. no one would expect me to write like i do.. to speak of opinions like i have..

And strangely, with all the personalities i have seen on the blogsphere, i have created this "perfectly-shaped" person that would be the partner ill be willing to be with (let's say until my hair turns to grey, or even... until the last breath of my existence). But the prob is, who would fit this image? who would have the same taste in music, books, poetry.. etc... hmm.. and also have the diversity of which i would be excitingly exploring as well as having these same feelings towards me too? who would possess all that and at the same time be sweet and gentle too? romantic and passionate? and who would i not bore to death? who would read me through his eyes? whose smile would seem to faint the brightest star?

ive been into relationships that mostly end up sour. not that there's something wrong with me (or is there? i think they think im too weird for them), but it seems that either they hurt me (happens most of the time - one even physical) or i hurt them (happened once and he was my best friend). after all that, i am guilty of creating this protective shell around me which nobody would penetrate. i have created a world of my own which nobody would linger in... and then i found blogging. and then i found p2p file sharing... and then i met people with great minds and cool taste. and then my shattered world have been shed with light and the once lost pieces now glows and all of them are in sight. the only thing to do is pick them up one by one, place them all together.. with precision and patience. lots of patience.

i consider myself as a very patient individual, and trained myself to accept all the hurt without having revenge, without fighting for my rights. i tend to masquerade all my dreadfulness and darkism behind what people see of me. i easy laugh at the stupidest joke but deep inside i lack the laughter and smiles. but in the past seven years, not once did i went out with friends... not once did i enjoyed myself and my surrounding. because i was deprived. and i was agreeingly depriving myself. just recently did i feel there are interesting people in the 'walking' life.. but not as interesting as to know them more and be attached emotionally. Maybe i tend to shun my world, to close my eyes. or was there anyone brave enough to dig up my thoughts, decipher them?

Having said all that, i remember the film How to Make an American Quilt. And the tagline which lingers in my head after seeing that a decade ago was...

Who would you marry, your Best Friend
or Your Soulmate?

Strangely, i havent figured out the answer yet. Because for me the questions that should be before it or follow it is..

Who is Your Best Friend? Who is Your Soulmate?

----
note: now im thinking if posting this is a good idea. Anyway, its long and i dont think anybody would really read me.(hmm.. or is there? *.*)

a twisted reflection

how bizare
do we find ourselves
ticking like a bomb

how shaking
do we come to terms
of facing what lies infront

a cicle
gone up in dark flames
in the hands or our own mischief

do we need
to end a beginning
we didnt even start?

can no one
break your dreadful chain
as we weave our own tracks?

have we not
the choice to be free
or we just choose not to be?

-----
note: i feel that my previous illo for the same theme was abit off the topic or i was conveying another meaning of "reflection". and since i have much time at home today i was playing around with my webcam and made random shots. with the help of some weird creativity and the new picasa (which i find as a very handy tool alternative to photoshop, since i havent installed one yet) playing with some colors, i created an illo which cries for the term "reflection".

Maybe this reflects one side of the pent up emotions of my twisted world. i know i should make an "illustration" but heck, i was just making the most out of what programs i have on my PC.

And btw, the poem is for my cousin Tino, who i see myself sometimes, when i was that age.

Illo Friday: Reflection

Oh Goddesses and Gods, that purple night

How soft the couch! And we, embracing tight;

With every wandering kiss our souls would meet!

Farewell all mortal woes, to die were sweet

- Petronius Arbiter

-----
note: I am currently looking for the orig Latin version of this line from the satire Satyricon, because somebody apparently forgot to give it to me. First time I read these lines, what came unto mind was Michealangelo's Pieta. Strangely, there is a satire in this version that I made as well..

The Significance: Reflection.. (soon as I place the Latin version) it mirrors two different worlds understanding one thought, one philosophy. And no barrier, not even time, can pull them apart.

Illo Friday: Wisdom

The Light of Wisdom

David Hume's principle, "one contradictory phenomenon" -- the infamous missing shade of blue. Hume asks us to consider "a person to have enjoyed his sight for thirty years, and to have become perfectly well acquainted with colours of all kinds, except one particular shade of blue..."

"Let all the different shades of that colour,
except that single one, be plac'd before him,
descending gradually from the deepest to the lightest;
‘tis plain, that he will perceive a blank,
where that shade is wanting, and will be sensible,
that there is a greater distance in that place,
between the contiguous colours, than in any other."

Although his philosophy of empiricism views that experience, especially of the senses, is the only source of knowledge and relies solely on practical experience, might seem contrary to his "missing shade of blue".

Looking at these, is it possible for a man, from his own imagination, to know this shade ever existed, and come up with the idea of that particular missing shade? Even if it had never been conveyed to him by his senses?

There might be few who will say that he can. And this may serve as a proof, that the simple ideas are not always derived from the correspondent impressions. Although the instance, or feeling, is so particular that this scarce captures our attention, and does not count that for it alone, we should alter our general view of things.

This is also to say that in relation to life in general, without ever experiencing a particular feeling, do we say that it is not possible to occur in others? Or in the long run occur or happen to ourselves even? How can one know or understand a particular feeling without ever even feeling it for themselves?

To put it in the simplest form, How will you say that touching a candle's light with a finger hurts when you havent even tried to touch a candle's light? Well, just a thought...

-----
note: indeed a late entry this time. But this is my Wisdom illo contribution on which was the theme last week. Maybe its just lack of wisdom at the time. hehe...

the sun catcher

and we move about
in our own circles
mapping the paces
of empty steps

but in catching the sun
the clutches of its eye
stares deep
penetrating my rationality
stitching the venom
which I could take
as I bleed in vain

like a flame candle
hopping upon the wick
sizzled.
dazzled.
then razed in straight lines

spending echoes of black flame
a shadow of burning thoughts
crisped lighting the air
like an ice pick
blending in the background
it pierces.
it lingers.

it is the hue of its flavor
it is the fogging presence
that fade and flourish
it is a chameleon of essences
that hypnotizes
   the foolish
   the brave.

so like the heroin
who ate lightning
and crave for thunder
I open up
taking nourishment
on every stabbing step
appearing nearer
but getting farther.

will I ever touch the sky
where the paces of your stare
have walked upon;
have wandered?

Illo Friday: Empty

with open eyes.. everything is empty...




closing them makes no difference...




..i need to see you...

-----
note: i almost thought of not making an illo this week but i can't let pass the topic. and when i started making one i just cant stop making the series.
i know this comes late for the week.. actualy posted this minutes before IF announce a new theme. i just cant decide on the colors...

No Crossroads

    going back now
    but not back too soon
    i thought i made a road leading
    but it instead will shun me
    as i stop my steps from counting.

    going back now
    to notions i laid down
    i thought dreams were to be halted
    but as new days come - be rising
    i wont falter.

    teach me to edify my captive soul
    as i get pulled downwards
    in your staircases i may dwell
    to linger the silvery tune
    to cure that unbroken spell.

    going back now
    and going back for good
    as i build new roads
    to once again be unstained;
    to once again be free.


-----
note: possessed by the half-asleep consciousness of the sunrise
and having heard the quote of Nietzsche:
"what doesnt kill me can only make me stronger"...